Turns Out I Was Right

Seems the setbacks I deemed minor actually were minor.  I’m down 1.2 lbs from yesterday, and right back on track with where I was two days ago.  I could see that as a defeat, but I’m choosing to see it as a victory.  this is a marathon, not a sprint, and I’ve not given up.  Everyday I don’t give up is a victory.

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For the record, my lowest recorded weight of the past 5 months is 187.2, which I hit 5 days ago.  So my goal for the week is to get to 187.1.  Or lower.  We will see.

I’m finding that my outlook is changing.  I’m actually having better results when I’m easier on myself.  I beat myself up less, hold myself to lower standards, than I have in the past.  This doesn’t mean I don’t have goals, I do, they just come with the realistic understanding that the road to my ideal weight doesn’t have to be a straight line.  In fact, so far, it looks like this:

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Sure, it’s bumpy, but I’m clearly headed in the right direction.

I completed the second day of week two in Couch to 5K this morning.  Today is my Friday, so tomorrow I’m going to do some house cleaning, visit with some family members, and have game night plans with friends.

My hip flexor was giving me some trouble last week when I walked for an hour in between my C to 5K days, so I think, at this point, laying off the cardio on my days off is very important for recovery.  So I’ll take the day off the gym tomorrow, but keep an eye on what I eat because of it.  My wrist is feeling better, but it’s still not 100%, so I’m hoping to start my body weight exercises next week.

XOE

Setbacks I’m Deeming Minor

Hullo.

My scale has crept up over the past couple days:

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This is due to the fact that I’ve been pretty hungry when I got home from work these last couple nights, and so I’ve had some food.  I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been hungrier, other than perhaps the running is starting to work.  Or, would work, if I wasn’t stuffing my face at night.  I also know I’m not eating enough protein in my day, and haven’t been since I started this blog, and that likely is causing the hunger as well.  This hunger I would rate as more-so than usual (because I’m generally a little peckish when I get off work, but it’s a hunger I can ignore and just go to bed with), but (and this is an important distinction that I don’t usually make) I’m not so hungry that I should have eaten the amount I’ve eaten when I came home.  So part of the weight going up is that I’m eating too much, and not the right things.

So in order to combat this, I think I’m going to try having a protein shake at night, whether I’m hungry or not, to combat the budding habit of destroying an entire container of hummus at 11 pm.

Hey!  At least it’s not pizza!  I just noticed that!  It didn’t even occur to me to get pizza either night!  THAT’S HUGE!

I’ve decided on Dr. Rhonda Patrick‘s smoothie recipe.

In the YouTube link above she gives the ingredients for a 64 ounce serving, one she shares with her husband.  So a 32 ounce smoothie should do it for me.

Here’s the breakdown:

-4 Kale Leaves
-1.5 cups of flax milk (pre-blend at this point)
-2 rainbow chard leaves & stems
-1.5 cups of spinach
-1/2 tomato
-1 carrot
-1/2 apple
-1/2 avocado
-1/2 cup blueberries
-1/2 banana
-1/2 shot glass of flaxseed

She says this last ingredient is optional, I have them, so I’m going to use them.  Also, I’m adding a scoop of Sun Warrior protein powder.

According to My Fitness Pal, this makes a 553 calorie pre-bedtime snack.  At first I was concerned about that caloric intake before bed.  But I thought, well, how do my micro- and macro- nutrients compare before the smoothie and after?  Let’s take a look:

Macros before incorporation of smoothie:

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Macros after:

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Sure the sugar and fat went up, but so did the protein and fiber, hell, the fiber nearly doubled.  Let’s take a look at the micros:

Before:

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After:

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Yeah.  The smoothie stays.  If you looked closely you would have noticed my daily goals for each nutrient was different between today and yesterday.  That I’m sure is caused by the fact that I haven’t logged any exercise yet today (I took the day off the gym today because my hip flexor was killing me yesterday, and I want to run tomorrow, so I’m listening to my body and giving it a day of rest) so the app thinks I need less food to run on.  Those goals will change as I log activity at work today.  The caloric density of the smoothie is well within my daily maximum, so I’m pumped to try it tonight.

XOE

 

 

 

Ups & Downs

I was going to start my weights routine last night.  I worked an earlier shift than normal so I figured I’d come home and do the test for the exercises I outlined in my last post.

But I have this reoccurring strain in my wrist from an old work injury that started acting up last week.  It bothered me again yesterday, so I figured instead of making the injury worse, I would put off the weights until my wrist is better.  I iced it last night; it’s still sore this morning, but I have a chiropractor appointment next Thursday, so I’ll likely mention it to the doc then.  I’m going to wear a wrist wrap at work to give it a little extra support until I can get it looked at.

So instead of working out last night I ate a couple eggs on toast…and 1/4 of a box of Girl Scout cookies.  I saw those cookies again on the scale this morning:

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But a .4 lb. increase ain’t so bad.  I was going to take today off from the gym, but since I didn’t do weights last night and ate cookies instead, I decided to go.  I walked on the treadmill for an hour:

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My primary care doc told me, when doing cardio, to keep my heart rate between 93 and 153.  So I shot for around 100, since I wasn’t trying to push too hard on account of tomorrow being day 1 week 2 in Couch to 5K.  Since I’m a great big fat guy walking for an hour burns a lot of calories.  It’s the only good thing about being fat.  Right now minimal effort brings quite a lot of results.

XOE

 

Couch to 5K Week One

I completed the first week of the Couch to 5K program.  I’m proud of that tiny accomplishment because I have been fighting a bit of a head cold all week, and I still went to the gym three times, despite feeling crummy.  One of the days I walked to the gym in the pouring rain.  Normally both a slight illness and a downpour would have kept me home.  Not only did going to the gym not make the cold worse, but also I actually felt a little better after the exercise.

I earned these two meaningless badges from the app:

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I’m not too worried about my distance jogged, as each week I am jogging for longer periods of time.  For me, for now, I walk at 3.5, brisk walk at 3.7, and jog at 4.4.

I met up with my trainer friend yesterday, but we skipped the gym because I had a complicated situation at the comic book shop I checked out before I saw her (it’s not worth going into, and is just as nerdy as it sounds) which pushed our meeting time back, which barely gave me enough time to get to my chiropractor appointment after B & I had lunch.

But over lunch, I did pick her brain a bit and have come up with a weight routine.  B encouraged me to think of my jogging days as my recovery days from weights.  I hadn’t thought of it like that before, because I’m fat and at this point I need recovery time from getting off the couch too quickly.  But I see what she means.

So tomorrow I will do the initial day of 100 pushups, 50 pull-ups, 300 sit-ups300 squats, 150 dips, and a 30 day burpee challenge.  It works out perfectly that tomorrow is Saturday because each of these exercise sites suggest two days of rest after the initial test.  So I can do my body weight exercises Tu-Th-Sat and my jogging M-W-F.  Sunday will be my rest day.  I’ll likely just do some stretching to keep things loose.

Because I didn’t work out yesterday, and ate some garbage, my weight went up:

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But it remained under 190, so that pleases me.  Oh, and I’ve not really mentioned it, but the intermittent fasting I’ve been doing is pretty automatic at this point.  No eating before 1:30 pm and no eating after 10:30 pm.  I’m not sure how/if it’s helping, but I also think it’s too early to tell, so I’ll keep at it.

XOE

 

Steps Forward, Steps Back

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Had pizza and cookie again last night.  Gained .02 lbs. Buh.

But I went to the gym this morning and climbed exactly a thousand stairs exactly in 30 minutes.  I’m still not going to beat myself up about the pizza.  This is my process.  I am trying.

It’s interesting that the stair machine didn’t hurt my back, and I sweat like crazy, and my heart rate was in the 150s most of the 30 minutes I was at the gym but it didn’t feel hard.  I think the stair machine is going to make its way into my gym routine.  I burned more calories and exercised my heart more than just the treadmill walking, and stairs felt better on my back and hips.  Huh.  Who knew?  Probably lots of trainers and chiropractors.  But it’s news to me.

Yesterday when I got to work I felt like I wanted a little something sweet.  There happened to be cookies in the break room, as there is almost always something open to eat in the break room.  I thought, oh, this is great, I’ll just have one, since they’re sweet, but not a kind of cookie I actually like very much.  And it’s true: I did have only one cookie.

But instead of nipping my craving in the bud, I think it just whetted my appetite for more sweets.

For the rest of the day I had a piece of chocolate here, a chocolate covered almond there. I logged every bite on MFP calorie counter, and they were within my caloric allotment for the day.  But I wonder, did those indulgences fuel my pizza and cookie binge later in the day?  That pizza and cookie sure as shit weren’t within my allowed calories–I didn’t even bother logging them.

I still think there is some emotional or mental component to why I got the pizza that I’m not completely clear on.  I wasn’t very hungry, I just wanted to eat it because it tasted good.  I also wanted to stay up and watch some tv before I went to bed, another habit I’m trying to break.  It’s not that it’s not good for me, it’s just that when I watch tv I tend to want to snack.

I talked to my therapist about all this last week, and she recommended I make a list of things I can do for self care to replace the habit of self care with pizza.

Things to Do that Feel Good Instead of Eating Pizza at 11 PM 

  1. take an epsom salt bath
  2. eat some fruit
  3. jerk off
  4. do some yoga
  5. read a comic book
  6. post a blog entry about wanting, but not eating, pizza and cookie

That last one isn’t necessarily something that “feels good,” but it will keep me on the righteous path. Also, my therapist recommended I not stop eating pizza altogether, as it seems like a sure fire way to eat more pizza.  Instead of telling myself I can’t have pizza ever again, she recommends I tell myself I just can’t have pizza after work.  And I do like the idea of having it earlier in the day, on say my weekend, as a treat.  But even then I’ll have to make sure to expend more calories at the gym to burn off the pizza.  Oh pizza, you old troublemaker.

Wish me luck tonight!

XOE

 

Back in Business, My Lovelies

Back on track:

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And it only took one night of not eating pizza to get back under 190.  I think little goals along the way to my ultimate 140 target weight will help keep me focused.  So the first mini goal?

Never go above 190.  That feels doable.

Oh, and this honest-to-god text exchange just happened between myself and a friend trying to hash out plans to get together:

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I actually offered going to the gym as a way to spend time with a friend. I’ve never done that before.  And this friend will likely take me up on it.  She’s really good at going to the gym.  Point being, this is a change in habit.  Normally this friend and I would get white girl wasted and I would wind up taking an Uber home at 4 am.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s super fun, and I love getting shitty with B.  But staying out all night drinking will A.) lead to going over my daily calorie allotment by about a fuckton and B.) lead to me skipping the gym the following morning.  And I just got back on the skinny wagon.  Let’s not fall right the fuck off just as I’m getting seated.

I’ll let y’all know how it goes…

XOE