So, I’ve been fat for about a year and a half.*
How fat? Well, here’s some big numbers to consider:
I’m 5′ 4″, and I weigh…
193.8 lbs. Fuck. That’s the fattest I’ve ever been. You’ll get the history of my weight in another post. for now, let’s just talk stats & how I get them.
I have the Weight Gurus Bluetooth scale that you can find here. I find the scale, after a brief set-up process, to be very user friendly. You just link the scale to your phone and stand on it (the scale not the phone, dum-dum). It calculates your BMI, and body composition percentage in four other key areas: % of bone, muscle, water, and fat. My numbers are:
Muscle Mass %: 33.2
Body Fat %: 31.7
I’m not logging water and bone here because I’m not trying to bore you to pieces. I have those numbers logged if I want to consult them as I learn more about their importance in weight loss. For now, let’s stick to the basics.
So what’s the goal? Well, as a trans person, that’s a little tricky. Because although I have the primary sex characteristics of a man (facial hair, deeper-than-most-ladies voice, receding hairline [BUT STILL A HEALTHY AMOUNT OF HAIR UP TOP GODDAMNIT]) due to the testosterone I inject weekly, I do still have that pesky estrogen encouraging my body to store fat in a cis-lady way. Physiologically it’s confusing. Just because I take T shots my body doesn’t automatically become biologically male. (Let’s not say that in front of the Bible thumpers, they wouldn’t understand & are easily confused.) For example, I can build muscle like a man but hang on to fat like I need to prepare to feed a baby with it.
The bottom line?
Sometimes, guys, we need to acknowledge we were women to become men.
So I won’t have the health goals of a cis-guy my age and height. I will have the health goals for my body exactly, because I can remember being fit and healthy just about two years ago. If you need a get skinnier goal for yourself, but have been fat for a long time, ask your doctor. I REPEAT: ASK YOUR DOCTOR WHEN CONSIDERING A CHANGE IN DIET AND/OR EXERCISE. Also, make sure your doctor gets trans stuff. For example, when I went to my doctor and asked her what amount of calories I should be consuming to lose weight, she quoted me an amount for a cis-woman my height. Because that’s how my body uses and stores those calories, like a cis-woman.
So here’s my initial goals**:
Weight: 140 lbs
That’s it. My only goal. I have a scale. So I can track weight honestly. I know what my adult body looks like at 140. It’s a weight I feel good in my clothes in. It’s a weight that puts me back into my 32″ Levis. It’s the weight that turned heads at my 20 year high school reunion. Fuck, I have such a sharp suit in my closet that I look dead sexy in but now only my arms fit in the leg holes. Christ.
Also, I don’t want to over complicate things this early in the game. With no encouraging results yet I’m hanging on by a thread here. This early it’s all salads this and elliptical machine that and ugh. Gross. I just want to lay on the couch and watch UnReal and eat popsicles. But that’s how I got here and here is so fat I have to lean forward to read my scale to see around the fat.
So let’s change some bad habits, shall we?
*This post originally started at a year, but I’ve been procrastinating writing this post/working on this blog/not shoving pizza in my face. I wanted to tell you that so maybe you don’t beat yourself up too much if you’ve procrastinated too.
**I am not a doctor, and my plan is for my body specifically. These are not suggestions for you, dear reader, to follow. My only suggestion for you, if you want to embark on a weight loss journey of your own, is to first stop talk to your doctor.